Many people have asked me how it feels like now that I am home. I don't know how to answer that in a way that someone who hasn't studied abroad can truly understand. It's almost like I never left. I came home and the only major differences were my horses' fuzzy winter coats, brown grass and bare trees, freezing cold weather, a new music cabinet in our front hall, and the invasion of stinkbugs in my room (do not get me started on that awful subject). It's like going to Hong Kong was a section of my life that doesn't seem to flow/connect with the rest of my life. At least that is how if feels now. Perhaps once I return to school and see more of how much studying abroad has changed how I view things then I will feel like my time abroad in Hong Kong connects with the rest of my life experiences.
Most of my family and friends know that I wasn't exactly happy in Hong Kong. I guess I just felt unmotivated, cooped up, and stuck. It was not a place where I could enjoy the things I like doing. Perhaps it was the language difference and financial barriers that prevented me from doing those things. There were times when I felt really depressed and a bit like a failure. I did not have an easy time making friends and erected barriers around myself due to a hurtful experience that happened at the beginning of the semester. I had heard stories from people before I left about how awesome their study abroad experience was, so I went to Hong Kong expecting to have the time of my life. Am I disappointed that I didn't feel that way? Yes, I am, especially when I see how much fun other people I knew had in other parts of the world. It was really hard at times to not let that feeling of disappointment depress me even more. I know that there were things that I could have done differently and I should have done them. It's too late to regret that now and I just need to move past all the "should haves." Now that I am home and can look back on my experience, I did have a great time. My classes were interesting. My mom, grandmother, and best friend all visited me and we had a great time. I learned a lot about surviving in a foreign city without my family to turn to for help. It was the most independent I have ever had to be in my life. That in itself made the entire experience worthwhile. I am so glad I went even if it did not live up to my expectations (something that is a bit hard to admit).
When I came home, I finally felt like myself again. I have been spending lots of time with my family watching movies, doing puzzles, and eating lots of cookies. It took me a while to get over jetlag so I woke up early for the first two weeks to see the sunrise and eat breakfast with my dad. I still am trying to get up early but it's harder now that my jetlag is gone. My grandmother, sister, and I go to the gym three times a week. I have been a frequent patron of the library so reading in my chair by my window or on my bed is where people can often find me. We all got up in the middle of the night on the winter solstice to watch an amazing lunar eclipse. I finally got to see the newest Harry Potter movie and last night I saw The King's Speech with my family (a very good movie with Colin Firth in it - highly recommended). I spent time with my best friends from elementary school and also saw some other friends from high school. We had a wonderful Christmas - a bit nontraditional since we made homemade ravioli and tortellini for dinner. Tomorrow when my mom's sister and her husband come up from southern Maryland, we will have a more traditional Christmas dinner.
Anyway, I guess the point of this entry was to say I am glad I went to Hong Kong, I learned a lot about myself, I had some fun times with the people who visited me, but... I am so happy to be home. I can't wait for next semester to start even though it will be very busy. Megan will be coming home from Japan soon and then we will all get sucked back into dance classes, service council, work, and classes. I hope everyone is well and happy. I will next update this blog when I go to Oxford this summer.
Have a Happy and Safe New Year!!
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