Before I reflect on my time here (which I assure you I am planning to do - particularly for my family who have been asking me to update), I will just mention what happened this week. I had two final exams. The first, on Tuesday, was my final exam for Hong Kong's Heritage. An open note exam with four essays, not something that particularly stressed me out. Actually, I do not think I was ever stressed academically this semester. That hasn't happened since... middle school? Well anyway, my Hong Kong's Heritage exam was not particularlly difficult and I feel pretty confident that I did at least average. The other final exam was for Hong Kong Popular Culture. That was today and it was the first final exam that I have ever had in school that had a really formal set up - like what you see in the movies (the SATs and APs are the only other exams where I had this experience). We were in a special examination room with assigned seats. I was in seat A1. The exam was also not very hard, even though I barely studied for it. It was open note with three short answers and an analytic essay on a clip we watched right before the exam begun. It felt so good to walk out of that exam room and be completely done with classes. I may have done a little dance once the door shut behind me. Luckily it was not witnessed, as I was the second person to finish and I finished a good thirty minutes before everyone else.
The rest of this week was pretty uneventful. I stressed myself out a bit about packing, but I managed to fit everything. I recycled a ton of schoolwork because I can't bring it home. Some of the handouts I had to recycle are quite interesting.. I wish I could bring them home, but there is a weight limit (which I probably already went over). The only other noteworthy thing I did was see the third Narnia movie with Trace. We saw it at Tuen Mun Town Centre in 3d. Turns out it came out in Hong Kong before it did in the US! So then why couldn't Harry Potter come out here at least at the same time as in the US. It's still not out in Hong Kong. I am sure there are good reasons for this but... I am the only one of my friends that wanted to see it who hasn't. Narnia was good. I really enjoyed it. Of course I am not the most picky movie watcher and I don't really criticize. I really loved the character Eustace. He was very entertaining.
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Well, I will certainly miss the winter weather. It has been quite warm (compared to what I am used to) and I have never needed more than a light sweater. I can't remember the last time it rained. Maybe before my mom and grandmother were here? It's going to miserably bitter cold when I get home, especially for me since I am not used to the cold. I, however, will definitely not miss the scorching summer heat in Hong Kong. That was just plain awful.
The buildings will all resemble midgets when I return. I have gotten so used to being surrounded by skyscrapers that hurt my neck when I try to search for the top high among the clouds. Though, there is something quite... fascinating? powerful? maybe even beautiful? when I go look out the window and see the tall apartment buildings competing for the eye's attention with the wild mountains covered in trees. I can vividly see the battle between nature and civilization right out my window, a battle that nature is clearly losing in Hong Kong's case.
Riverside will seem so quiet and peaceful compared to the hustle bustle of noisy Hong Kong. People here seem tireless as they try to scrape by in the world of intense competition. Being here has made me appreciate the relative little competition that I have to face at home. I don't think I am naturally a very competitive person. The horse shows I competed in were never primarily for the ribbons, but for the enjoyment and the self accomplishment. It was when they turned into an actual competition and I was starting to get sucked in that I quit. I say it was because of the money, which partly it was, but I also just couldn't handle the competitiveness. It wasn't fun anymore. That is why I just don't think I could live here. I admire the people who do. It is a tough world out there for everyone. To the people who are finishing up school and going out into the real world - good luck to you. You can do it!
I have heard stories, read blogs, seen status updates on facebook, and flipped through picture albums of other people I know who studied/are studying abroad this semester. There were times when I felt like I was failing at this whole thing. Like I wasn't living up to expectations. But being here pretty much completely alone has given me time for personal reflection. I have finally completely healed from past heartbreak. I have discovered and nurtured my ideas for who I want to be, the type of woman I want to come. I have gained a bit more confidence in my values and my decisions. I do not want to give into the peer pressure of the young twenties somethings' world. I just want to be myself and do the things that I enjoy. I don't want to do things that I genuinely just don't find very fun to gain friends. I want my friends to love me for who I am not for who I pretend to be. Yes, I realize that I should have made more of an effort to put myself out there. But. I guess I just wasn't comfortable doing that and by the time I might have been able to, I felt like it was too late. It's hard to recover from hurt and, when I get hurt, I tend to retreat into a little hole inside myself and isolate myself from everyone but those who are really close to me. And that is all I am going to write about that failure of mine to make friends here. I am not proud, but I will learn from it and move on. Dwelling will not solve anything.
The previous paragraph reflects my unhappiness here. But there were many things that I did enjoy. My mom and grandmother came to visit and I got to see and experience many neat places in Hong Kong with them. I got to show them how it feels to be here. I mean it is quite hard to explain how different it is. Having them experience it with me was an amazing opportunity and I am so glad I got to share this part of my life with them.
I also got to travel to Taiwan and Japan to visit two of my closest friends. Jenny and her family's hospitality was so needed when I was just leaving home for four months. I had a wonderful time with her in Taiwan. Then I got to go visit my best friend, Megan, in Japan. She is experiencing almost the same thing I am and being able to go through this with her has been a good part of what got me through my time here. It was also great to go to Japan and see how different it is from the other East Asian countries that I have been to. Though I only spent a weekend there, I had a fabulous time and someday (when I have more money) I would like to go back and see other places besides Tokyo. It was great that Megan could also travel to Hong Kong and I could share the culture here with her. Now, I am leaving her over on this side of the world and I feel really sad about that. She still has 38 days left in Japan and she has to spend Christmas and her birthday apart from her family. I wish I could fly her home for the holidays but, alas, that is not possible. So, Megan I will miss you and I will be thinking of you. I wish you were flying home with me also. Be strong and the next few weeks will fly by before you know it. Embrace the time you have left there. I cannot wait to start our checklist when we return to Washington this winter. :-)
The sheer convenience of everything in Hong Kong will be something else I miss. The transportation is amazingly easy (once figured out and even that is not that difficult). I love the idea of Octopus cards. They are basically everything cards. You can take the subway, the bus, the ferry, the tram, buy water and chocolate at the convenience store, print papers, do laundry, buy soda at the vending machines... I think they are a very useful thing and so easy to use. It is a system that seems to work very well and perhaps other cities should look into establishing a similar system.
Although I am not a crazy shopper, I do enjoy it occasionally and the shopping here is so so cheap compared to home. I will miss that when I am home. Food was also inexpensive. My experience shopping at Fu Tai will be something I won't forget. Walking up and down every aisle of the Park N' Shop trying to figure out what they sell. Impatient women running their shopping carts into the back of my legs as I am trying to figure out the Hong Kong currency. The old people sitting in the park just chatting and watch the people go by. The chocolate bubble tea and chili chicken at Home Fairy.Also, Tuen Mun Town Centre... what a place of madness. It is always so crowded there and that place is giant, confusing, and impossible to navigate. I don't think I will miss that at all.
Cats! I will miss the cats at Lingnan. That was a pleasant surprise when I arrived here to see that Lingnan was the home to many stay cats and there is a Cat Society that feeds them in folded paper bowls.
I will also miss how easy the classes are here compared to home. I really loved all my classes and the professors were all quite entertaining. I learned a lot more about Chinese culture and language. I also got to draw in a formal class for the first time in three years. I had a wonderful time attending the classes here and I will miss the optimism and kindness of my professors here.
Lastly, my roommate Trace. I am so thankful for her generosity and kindness. She made many things easier here and was always optimistic. I hope that she stays confident and goes out into the world and lives a happy life.
I could probably go on and on about my time here due to my bad habit of rambling and being quite wordy. However, for the sake of the people reading this long entry, I shall end this post here. I hope to update one more time once I arrive home.
To answer my own question, I will not actively miss Hong Kong. But I will look back on my time here as a time when I grew stronger as a person, experienced a whole new and completely different way of life, and stepped way out of my comfort zone.
再见香港！Goodbye Hong Kong!
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